tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38269135144832906292024-03-14T01:29:02.144-07:00life and learningsarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-81899626483215924062012-07-29T10:59:00.002-07:002012-07-29T10:59:40.932-07:00Reconnaissance...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">re·con·nois·sance (r -k n -s ns, -z ns). n. An inspection or exploration of an area, especially one made to gather military information. Sometimes gathering information about one's self becomes more important than millitary intelligence. One year at work and one year in Bangalore...I think its time for a reconnoisance of my life. What is it that I exactly learnt, unlearnt , ignored, observed ,absorbed etc. My personality evolved constantly like the universe, there were some unexplored aspects which came out and some annoying ones which were discarded. its like one of theose childhood photos where you look at yourself and wonder how did i ever manage to look like that..:o.experiences are also the same , there were moments of exceptional dumbness where you still cant figure out how you managed to get in and also moments of exceptional brilliance (I would attribute this solely to the One above).But all in all with experiences and exposure to good and bad ,life takes different shapes like a stream which turns at every bend and adapting to landscape around rather than creating one itself.Abdapting doesnt mean i give up my inherent personality and imbibe everything from people around thus destroying me, but it means trying to make others accept you the way you are(if they refuse , then they are not worth the effort). So this one year has brought out shades and features of my personality whose existence I was unaware of. it made me realise what are the things which mean something to me and what need to be discarded(applies to people also). And what keeps me going and what i need to keep moving...and many more lessons. Its life and learning all over , after another annual cycle. I guess I would reconnoissance every year or maybe half a year. It helps me understand myself and my relationship with my surroundings better and helps me grow as a better person (better from the inside ).</span></span></span><br />
<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-67001488585534376122012-05-03T09:59:00.003-07:002012-05-03T09:59:41.482-07:00Hasty Generalisation?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A single person's actions can sometimes cause us to generalise the whole community. I had bad experiences with certain people in the past few months which made me hate their lineage but it got me thinking that thats how prejudices are formed. Some xyz did something terrible and the entire population around him/her seems to be having the same traits. I was forced to think about this because when one person hurt me so much , another person from the same community embraced me like their own. These stark differences forced me to reflect on the fact that because of our actions so many people are affected. Our actions not only encompass us but also the entire sphere of people, culture and habitat which surrounds us. Even the place is not left behind, too many thefts in an area and all are thieves, even if it is the action of a single person. I am glad the Lord is teaching me things through experiences like these and making me more open to people and their actions. I dont deny I still have my prejudices , had the second incident not happened , I would have continued to live with a deep rooted dislike for everything related to that person. But Lord forces us to see and think beyond our narrow outlook and teaches us a whole range of things , which make our lives more meaningful and contended. </div>sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-51617201705844223462012-02-15T07:47:00.000-08:002012-02-15T07:58:25.580-08:00I look unto thee for Help......Well I am compelled to blog when life goes soo out of control ,that you leave it as it is and start staring. This is where the Lord intervenes and desires that we let him do that, but it seldom happens that way .When the twists and turns become impossible we start to rely on others, who many a time add fuel to the fire than offer a comforting shoulder. We are all alone..but the hope of having Christ in my heart strengthens me and keeps me going. As things are going topsy turvy in my life , I look eagerly unto the Lord to show me a way, comfort me and and guide me out of this mess(thy is is purely created by me as usual, but the Lord always pulled me out and I again look to him for help). Well the thought in itself is cheering me up, allaying my fears and making me feel much better.Phew. :)sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-78560587421431044402012-01-03T07:31:00.000-08:002012-01-03T07:48:29.279-08:00New Year Ramblings2012...another year, another gamult of experiences. Over years I learnt to take time as it comes. A new day , a new experience. When I was younger , a new year meant something better ..off with the old year. But then I realised that every day is a new day , anything can happen anytime. A year is a too vast a time period to predict or expect or to look forward to. I can neither plan nor unplan anything. Time is a continuum ,fluid, it carries people and experiences along with it. With me it was some old people and experiences left behind, and some new ones entering. It also had changes in people subtle and drastic which impacted them and those around them. 2011 was about life and learning ...a new job, a new city, new friends and new experiences. It didnt mean forgetting the old but renewing relationships with what was in the past. The distances changed the equations and forged new bonds. But there were also some which were broken and lost ..maybe forever. All these are strands of learning in a fabric called life. So I take them and move ahead learning every moment and every day.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-54016728957017472662011-08-19T08:59:00.000-07:002011-08-19T09:10:59.763-07:00Time the teacherIts been a long time since I blogged . I guess now I am blogging just out of curiosity and maybe to keep this blog alive. A lot of changes and a lot of learning happened. Left college and joined the big notorious world of corporate jobs. I dont know how much I have changed but yes I can see people changed. With each new phase in life the old memories become fainter, new people enter . But there are still those who left an indelible mark on our lives which is hard to erase. Despite me moving on I still cling onto some of my past memories , those wonderful times at campus with some people who I truly cherish. Thank God for technology , we can still maintain some of the relationships which would have otherwise faded with the barriers of time and distance. Time also is an amazing healer. It helps erase all unpleasant things and retain good memories which can be cherished during current times of difficulties. As for me I guess I am and will continue to learn more lessons in life and mature as an individual. But the person I am essentially might not change, this is who I am. People who have not understood this have moved away from my life but these gaps are gradually being filled by newer people I am getting to know, who I may have misunderstood but who inturn understood me. So I thank the Lord for the strength and the circumstances he has provided me to move on in life and grow with its experiences.
<br />sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-80542129495726430602010-10-16T13:55:00.000-07:002010-10-16T14:05:09.810-07:00MusingsA successful end to another term at IRMA leaving me with just another 4 months on the campus. It was hell of a journey till now,something which moulded me and made me what I am today.While Ill definitely miss all the memories associated with it(trying not to think about it,makes me sad), I also look forward to whatever is in store for me in the future.Before leaving for MTS to chennai (strongly beleiving that from day one it was the Lord's plan for whatever happened in my life) ..I conclude by quoting from one of my favourite songs-Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,blessings all mine with ten thousands beside,great is thy faithfulness.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-22944278020401030072010-09-04T10:52:00.000-07:002010-09-04T10:58:57.428-07:00RamblingPhew .. successfuly completed another hectic week , more learnings? I am tired of them , but they keep coming..but learnt some interesting lessons about self worth, the people who actually try to put you down actually admire you. The people who gave up on you, dont deserve you and you are great as you are. These are what i learnt , one has to experience to learn and life definitely teaches you all these things. So while loss and isolation hurt, they build a fortress in you which makes you strong,so strong that the blows which we might face later in life might merely feel like jabs. And I thank God for this learning mechanism and making me what I am.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-79691399529765933892010-08-28T12:54:00.001-07:002010-08-28T13:04:25.283-07:00Random thoughtsFinally some time to blog..after a hectic week..few moments to stop, take breath and review my life. Well first lesson I learnt this week was to stop reviewing the past,let bygones be bygones and think about what lies ahead.Someone told me think about the good things in the past and the good things to come in the future, the rest are to be forgotten as we have survived all those and stand here today. There are always moments of lonliness when we feel the need to open up, but again these are just phases which will go on throughout our lives and how we cope with them will determine our stance towards issues in life. And again I would like to thank God for all the things he created , he has a purpose for everything..nothing is meaningless.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-14551542120873050962010-08-09T12:10:00.000-07:002010-08-09T12:19:17.852-07:00ImperfectionThis week I learnt some very important lessons, in this ongoing process of understanding people this was a very important phase. It was a phase of emotional catharsis involving some things which were bothering me and this was when,some people stood by me and supported me , which took me by surprise. I realised that everyone is imperfect, its just depends on how you learn to deal with them. I had loads of complains against them, but when it really mattered they were there. Ending it with an analogy, the persian carpets which are the epitome of perfection are always left with some errors which the craftsmen delibirately include in the pieces. Why? simple they believe that only GOD is perfect and everything has a flaw somewhere.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-88322195862982070732010-06-17T23:11:00.000-07:002010-06-17T23:31:39.625-07:00Life during OTSI guess its time for my next blog. In the past few weeks there has been a whirlwind of activities and have led to a new set of revelations and more lessons in life. I am currently interning with Rbi,Ahmedabad a 8 hr desk job,working on a project which involves a study on technology which is quite new to me since i am a non-engineer. I ve been here for the past one month and life has been springing surprises at every step. One important thing i learnt was, that my life in the village was much better than staying in a big city where every even breathing becomes complicated. This eventful period was also filled by learnings about people,while i became closer to some long lost friends and made new friends ( people i rarely interacted in college) , i also got to see the unpleasant side of people close to me ( i really need to learn how to deal with it). But i finally realised this is how the world runs and i cannot change it but mould myself accordingly.On the brighter side , I got the opportunity to try out new activities and do things which i never got the chance to do and would not have got had i not been here. This is the best part of living independently,while there are pitfalls to it ,it also shows you the true meaning of freedom.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-12433678889962490072010-04-28T09:37:00.000-07:002010-04-28T09:45:35.691-07:00And now i start looking up..I recently realised that the only time when we look up for help is when we cant help ourselves. Its a situation where one is between four walls which are closing on and ultimately the only place you can look is up, thats when we remember that theres someone up there. I guess thats exactly what i am doing , as long as there was space around i was looking to solve issues myself . It was only when walls really started closing on me did I realise that now there was no way around and then started looking up ( which i should have done much before, I owe him an apology there). But now since i ve realised that I am feeling much better knowing that no matter how out of control things go, they are always in his control and he will lead us through. A lesson which was long due , finally learnt (But did i really learn it ?, i am still unsure..).sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-39607234533509191832010-04-24T13:34:00.000-07:002010-04-24T13:44:16.563-07:00confusion???I am confused about a lot of things , about myself , those around me and the situations. What appears real once disappears and becomes illusionary the next moment. I am really struggling to realise what are people and their thoughts , everyone has things hidden in them so who is real and whom to believe ? its a million dollar question , one with no answer. Guess at 2 in the night i am just ranting .. getting too philosophical..need to seriously take a break..sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-55140355420196453762010-04-19T12:25:00.000-07:002010-04-19T12:39:11.727-07:00What keeps me going ?In the last one year I learnt a lot of things about myself, about people and about life in general. What really struck me was most of what we see and hear are illusions and deceptions ( well I am bordering cynicism here ) but thats what i figured out . But one needs to adapt and adjust in order to survive . So what keeps me going when i am low ? initially i tended to depend on others for support but soon realised that they have their own worlds . So i went back to do what i enjoy doing the most - painting , reading and of course music. Painting transports me to a world which is mine , where i am happy . I can be what i like and not what others want me to be. i guess that this is one of the most precious lessons i learnt .I am really thankful to the Lord for endowing me with such a talent which keeps me happy and going .sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-49289407238555849372010-04-03T11:01:00.000-07:002010-04-03T11:14:15.275-07:00Attitude problems?My current fb status..does others attitute bother me or mine bothers them??? was a question ive been contemplating for quite sometime. I really couldnt get any valid answers but some of them made me feel much better. Like the one which said..if people dont like your attitude they dont deserve to be around you. i liked this because it was always pointed out to me that i needed to compromise and change for the world, but how much and what is the limit was never told. But i guess this freedom of making choices about whom to be with and whom not also comes with its own set of risks. The risk of totally isolating oneself, the risk of letting go of people who truly care for you in pursuit of someone better. So after realising all this i decided to reconnect with people who were always there with me accepted my attitude, and were happy with it. This is dedicated to all my dear ones back home,missing you guys.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-55106670844154031222010-03-27T14:32:00.000-07:002010-03-27T14:44:38.676-07:00Stress bustersnowadays i am blogging regularily because this is proving to be an amazing stress busting exercise. At 3 in the night when most of the world sleeps (i stress most of the world, since right now i can see 84 people still there on the ip list) this is a world which works in the night and fights to stay awake in the morning much to the annoyance of the professors.So what are my thoughts,after a 4 hour management information systems assignment all i can see is data matrices flying around my head. And with the impending mid sems day after tomorrow and not a single word studied,the situation needs to be experienced to be understood. Meanwhile i realised that certain things make me happy so i am trying to concentrate on those things and i realised that they really work as effective stress busters.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-22860301572988384452010-03-26T13:26:00.000-07:002010-03-26T15:09:02.569-07:00PatiencePatience is truly a virtue and with the number of assignments which i have been doing in the past two weeks showed me what I lacked ...when working with people these 8 letters are of utmost importance.At the end of it the lesson i learnt was you either are born with patience or you acquire it, if you dont do either you cant survive . World is unfair and all the people in it and only patience and adjustment will push you through.Through all these i realised that these are very trivial compared to so many others facing much more pain each day but pushing ahead.I should be thankful for where i am what i have and forget the pain and enjoy life. So this is my prayer everyday.."Lord please give me patience and strength to live and experience each moment as it comes..and thank you for all the small mercies you have granted me each day. Amen.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-25216973557789143552010-03-21T11:45:00.000-07:002010-03-21T11:58:16.153-07:00Why do i blog?well i feel this blog is a nice medium to vent out my feelings , which might look depressing to others but thats exactly why i prefer to write this blog to rise up from all the tough circumstances. Life is just getting tougher and friends fewer , and lonliness is something i am geting accustomed to. The pressure is mounting and when situations turn bad people turn worse and hence i am writing this blog. I guess i am overtly sensitive and as my mom always says get stronger and dont bother about what people say , but it isnt that easy . But theres always a rainbow after a storm and i am waiting for one in my life and meanwhile i continue to look above for solace and strenght from one who truly listens to me and understands me - my true friend.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-33699598699152970972010-03-16T10:27:00.000-07:002010-03-16T10:40:22.502-07:00ContemplationWell today is telugu new year ...so i wish all those reading this blog "happy ugadi". So what was special today ? a get together of all the gults in anand , it was kind of funny as i am not used to seeing so many of them here. It was a pleasant change from the routine life around here. But as usual after a long stressful day these things do little to lift up the sagging spirits. And now i go to bed thanking the Lord for all the little joys in my life and asking for strength to face tomorrow.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-18353801383309145102010-03-10T07:17:00.000-08:002010-03-10T07:25:43.931-08:00growing up blues.....This is weird i just opened my eyes and realised that i am whizzing through my third term in Irma , its like i blink and things vanish. So my lessons in the process, new people, actually new facets of old people , new hobbies, and a brand new perspective. Its like the scales on my eyes just dropped and everything is looking quite different. But i guess life is not this rosy with evry good moment there are two terrible ones and the pain is constant but the few good ones make up for all the bad ones. I guess i am just growing up. Ists very strange that when i was young i always wanted to grow up , but now i realise how much i miss those days. Its a typical case of grass is green on the other side. I guess these are the growing up blues i am experiencing. But yes i have to go through them and there are miles to go before i sleep.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-86083535029356971142010-02-09T08:14:00.000-08:002010-02-09T08:22:51.229-08:00Its been ages since i last updated this blog , didnt write anything since the time we returned from field. The experience itself was an eye opener and one post wont be sufficient to describe it. but i dont intend to publish my chronicles in the field as it will truly be understood only if one experiences it. Meanwhile my life in irma continues, though its not monotonous it is extremely exhausting. There are times when i wake up in the morning to be bewildered by the fact that two terms have already passed and there was no time to catch a breath. Each day demands to be cherished with its own set of new experiences, and new facets of people unravelling every second. Phew.. all this is getting a bit too complex for me and maybe at the end of two years when i contemplate , i wouldnt be able to pinpoint one experience which changed me as i am and would have been transformed into a new person made up of a jigsaw of experiences .sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-84669240664642795092009-09-21T03:28:00.000-07:002009-09-21T03:58:48.324-07:00leisure..a week passed since i came back from IRMA, a week of worklessness and boredom, now i realised how meaningful is ancient wisdom. you can actually die due to boredom. i came very close to seeing this kind of death.But the weekend saved me by bringing in a whirlwind of activity when all the busybodies i know realised i existed and decided to spend some meaningful time with me. All this combined with the tasteful and delightful cooking by my mom made me nostalgic about the various small leisure's you experience at home , which is totally absent at school . This is actually making me sad about the fact that when i go back for 6 long months i'll miss all the leisures of being at home, but i'll end up with a totally different and unique experience at school. I guess i am one super confused person but that's just it. its taking time for me to deal with two totally different atmospheres but i am loving it. As for now i am looking forward to 2 months at adilabad , where as my state guide put in very tastefully you will all lose 5 kilos. it will do me a hell of good , if i indeed end up losing that much. but i already started praying for the lesser fortunate souls who might disappear if subjected to such a treatment.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-40834051217423543902009-09-15T08:13:00.000-07:002009-09-15T08:19:44.334-07:00almost heaven...being back home after 3 months is exhilarating, almost heaven (especially the food...). but the whole experience is paradoxical. while i craved for home at school, now i am missing school. but school is school and home is home and the twain shall never meet. 15 days at home then off to adilabad to work in the field, another lesson in my life. and so the story continues..life and learning.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-48415015917183002282009-09-06T11:07:00.000-07:002009-09-06T12:36:32.532-07:00wat more...?today went for a malayali party...suddenly realised how diverse yet how similar cultures can be .had a great time with friends and classmates . realised that people are black and white no greys...great people , bad people. or it could be me, i look at things in two colours only.niceness is a perspective and people are a bundle of varying perspectives. adjustment is a virtue and very few people posses it , but great many learn it.i was not gifted with it but i am determined to learn it and enjoy the experience. as for my feelings well i'll cope up, things i can share and those i cant...well i'll heal and in the process transform ...from the cocoon to the butterfly.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3826913514483290629.post-47770276712928502322009-09-05T11:49:00.000-07:002009-09-05T12:08:23.862-07:00atlast one term ended in irma, the great management institute in western india...so what did i learn? well the journey was long and tiring...from this girl who has not seen life beyond her house to being thrown into a strange place with 200 people all who are motivated to the core...life was not easy. i cribbed , cried , fought ,made friends and enemies...all part of this package called life.<br />life in here is tumultous...one rollercoaster of a ride...with lessons pouring in every second. if it was a horrible test set by a professor or a person who hurt me...everymoment made my life more special and taught me that take one thing at a time. people love and people hurt, its the same with me...i am a human...if i change for them..ther'll definitely be someone making some effort for me. these three months have been so physically, mentally and spiritually exhausting. times when i felt so far away from the Lord my sole confidante who heard me all the time and gave me strength during weakness.i will cherish these moments forever..those times at irma...with just one semester gone and five more to come ..iam already looking forward to the next. two months without this craziness might just drive me mad...lets see what the future has for me..more learning in life.sarahsnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11406676058509939176noreply@blogger.com0