Reconnaissance...

re·con·nois·sance (r -k n -s ns, -z ns). n. An inspection or exploration of an area, especially one made to gather military information. Sometimes gathering information about one's self becomes more important than millitary intelligence. One year at work and one year in Bangalore...I think its time for a reconnoisance of my life. What is it that I exactly learnt, unlearnt , ignored, observed ,absorbed etc. My personality evolved constantly like the universe, there were some unexplored aspects which came out and some annoying ones which were discarded. its like one of theose childhood photos where you look at yourself and wonder how did i ever manage to look like that..:o.experiences are also the same , there were moments of exceptional dumbness where you still cant figure out how you managed to get in and also moments of exceptional brilliance (I would attribute this solely to the One above).But all in all with experiences and exposure to good and bad ,life takes different shapes like a stream which turns at every bend and adapting to landscape around rather than creating one itself.Abdapting doesnt mean i give up my inherent personality and imbibe everything from people around thus destroying me, but it means trying to make others accept you the way you are(if they refuse , then they are not worth the effort). So this one year has brought out shades and features of my personality whose existence I was unaware of. it made me realise what are the things which mean something to me and what need to be discarded(applies to people also). And what keeps me going and what i need to keep moving...and many more lessons. Its life and learning all over , after another annual cycle. I guess I would reconnoissance every year or maybe half a year. It helps me understand myself and my relationship with my surroundings better and helps me grow as a better person (better from the inside ).

Hasty Generalisation?

A single person's actions can sometimes cause us to generalise the whole community. I had bad experiences with certain people in the past few months which made me hate their lineage but it got me thinking that thats how prejudices are formed. Some xyz did something  terrible and the entire population around him/her seems to be having the same traits. I was forced to think about this because when one person hurt me so much , another person from the same community embraced me like their own. These stark differences forced me to reflect on the fact that because of our actions so many people are affected. Our actions not only encompass us but also the entire sphere of people, culture and habitat which surrounds us. Even the place is not left behind, too many thefts in an area and all are thieves, even if it is the action of a single person. I am glad the Lord is teaching me things through experiences like these and making me more open to people and their actions. I dont deny I still have my prejudices , had the second incident not happened , I would have continued to live with a deep rooted dislike for everything related to that person. But Lord forces us to see and think beyond our narrow outlook and teaches us a whole range of things , which make our lives more meaningful and contended. 

I look unto thee for Help......

Well I am compelled to blog when life goes soo out of control ,that you leave it as it is and start staring. This is where the Lord intervenes and desires that we let him do that, but it seldom happens that way .When the twists and turns become impossible we start to rely on others, who many a time add fuel to the fire than offer a comforting shoulder. We are all alone..but the hope of having Christ in my heart strengthens me and keeps me going. As things are going topsy turvy in my life , I look eagerly unto the Lord to show me a way, comfort me and and guide me out of this mess(thy is is purely created by me as usual, but the Lord always pulled me out and I again look to him for help). Well the thought in itself is cheering me up, allaying my fears and making me feel much better.Phew. :)

New Year Ramblings

2012...another year, another gamult of experiences. Over years I learnt to take time as it comes. A new day , a new experience. When I was younger , a new year meant something better ..off with the old year. But then I realised that every day is a new day , anything can happen anytime. A year is a too vast a time period to predict or expect or to look forward to. I can neither plan nor unplan anything. Time is a continuum ,fluid, it carries people and experiences along with it. With me it was some old people and experiences left behind, and some new ones entering. It also had changes in people subtle and drastic which impacted them and those around them. 2011 was about life and learning ...a new job, a new city, new friends and new experiences. It didnt mean forgetting the old but renewing relationships with what was in the past. The distances changed the equations and forged new bonds. But there were also some which were broken and lost ..maybe forever. All these are strands of learning in a fabric called life. So I take them and move ahead learning every moment and every day.

Time the teacher

Its been a long time since I blogged . I guess now I am blogging just out of curiosity and maybe to keep this blog alive. A lot of changes and a lot of learning happened. Left college and joined the big notorious world of corporate jobs. I dont know how much I have changed but yes I can see people changed. With each new phase in life the old memories become fainter, new people enter . But there are still those who left an indelible mark on our lives which is hard to erase. Despite me moving on I still cling onto some of my past memories , those wonderful times at campus with some people who I truly cherish. Thank God for technology , we can still maintain some of the relationships which would have otherwise faded with the barriers of time and distance. Time also is an amazing healer. It helps erase all unpleasant things and retain good memories which can be cherished during current times of difficulties. As for me I guess I am and will continue to learn more lessons in life and mature as an individual. But the person I am essentially might not change, this is who I am. People who have not understood this have moved away from my life but these gaps are gradually being filled by newer people I am getting to know, who I may have misunderstood but who inturn understood me. So I thank the Lord for the strength and the circumstances he has provided me to move on in life and grow with its experiences.

Musings

A successful end to another term at IRMA leaving me with just another 4 months on the campus. It was hell of a journey till now,something which moulded me and made me what I am today.While Ill definitely miss all the memories associated with it(trying not to think about it,makes me sad), I also look forward to whatever is in store for me in the future.Before leaving for MTS to chennai (strongly beleiving that from day one it was the Lord's plan for whatever happened in my life) ..I conclude by quoting from one of my favourite songs-Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,blessings all mine with ten thousands beside,great is thy faithfulness.

Rambling

Phew .. successfuly completed another hectic week , more learnings? I am tired of them , but they keep coming..but learnt some interesting lessons about self worth, the people who actually try to put you down actually admire you. The people who gave up on you, dont deserve you and you are great as you are. These are what i learnt , one has to experience to learn and life definitely teaches you all these things. So while loss and isolation hurt, they build a fortress in you which makes you strong,so strong that the blows which we might face later in life might merely feel like jabs. And I thank God for this learning mechanism and making me what I am.