Random thoughts

Finally some time to blog..after a hectic week..few moments to stop, take breath and review my life. Well first lesson I learnt this week was to stop reviewing the past,let bygones be bygones and think about what lies ahead.Someone told me think about the good things in the past and the good things to come in the future, the rest are to be forgotten as we have survived all those and stand here today. There are always moments of lonliness when we feel the need to open up, but again these are just phases which will go on throughout our lives and how we cope with them will determine our stance towards issues in life. And again I would like to thank God for all the things he created , he has a purpose for everything..nothing is meaningless.

Imperfection

This week I learnt some very important lessons, in this ongoing process of understanding people this was a very important phase. It was a phase of emotional catharsis involving some things which were bothering me and this was when,some people stood by me and supported me , which took me by surprise. I realised that everyone is imperfect, its just depends on how you learn to deal with them. I had loads of complains against them, but when it really mattered they were there. Ending it with an analogy, the persian carpets which are the epitome of perfection are always left with some errors which the craftsmen delibirately include in the pieces. Why? simple they believe that only GOD is perfect and everything has a flaw somewhere.

Life during OTS

I guess its time for my next blog. In the past few weeks there has been a whirlwind of activities and have led to a new set of revelations and more lessons in life. I am currently interning with Rbi,Ahmedabad a 8 hr desk job,working on a project which involves a study on technology which is quite new to me since i am a non-engineer. I ve been here for the past one month and life has been springing surprises at every step. One important thing i learnt was, that my life in the village was much better than staying in a big city where every even breathing becomes complicated. This eventful period was also filled by learnings about people,while i became closer to some long lost friends and made new friends ( people i rarely interacted in college) , i also got to see the unpleasant side of people close to me ( i really need to learn how to deal with it). But i finally realised this is how the world runs and i cannot change it but mould myself accordingly.On the brighter side , I got the opportunity to try out new activities and do things which i never got the chance to do and would not have got had i not been here. This is the best part of living independently,while there are pitfalls to it ,it also shows you the true meaning of freedom.

And now i start looking up..

I recently realised that the only time when we look up for help is when we cant help ourselves. Its a situation where one is between four walls which are closing on and ultimately the only place you can look is up, thats when we remember that theres someone up there. I guess thats exactly what i am doing , as long as there was space around i was looking to solve issues myself . It was only when walls really started closing on me did I realise that now there was no way around and then started looking up ( which i should have done much before, I owe him an apology there). But now since i ve realised that I am feeling much better knowing that no matter how out of control things go, they are always in his control and he will lead us through. A lesson which was long due , finally learnt (But did i really learn it ?, i am still unsure..).

confusion???

I am confused about a lot of things , about myself , those around me and the situations. What appears real once disappears and becomes illusionary the next moment. I am really struggling to realise what are people and their thoughts , everyone has things hidden in them so who is real and whom to believe ? its a million dollar question , one with no answer. Guess at 2 in the night i am just ranting .. getting too philosophical..need to seriously take a break..

What keeps me going ?

In the last one year I learnt a lot of things about myself, about people and about life in general. What really struck me was most of what we see and hear are illusions and deceptions ( well I am bordering cynicism here ) but thats what i figured out . But one needs to adapt and adjust in order to survive . So what keeps me going when i am low ? initially i tended to depend on others for support but soon realised that they have their own worlds . So i went back to do what i enjoy doing the most - painting , reading and of course music. Painting transports me to a world which is mine , where i am happy . I can be what i like and not what others want me to be. i guess that this is one of the most precious lessons i learnt .I am really thankful to the Lord for endowing me with such a talent which keeps me happy and going .

Attitude problems?

My current fb status..does others attitute bother me or mine bothers them??? was a question ive been contemplating for quite sometime. I really couldnt get any valid answers but some of them made me feel much better. Like the one which said..if people dont like your attitude they dont deserve to be around you. i liked this because it was always pointed out to me that i needed to compromise and change for the world, but how much and what is the limit was never told. But i guess this freedom of making choices about whom to be with and whom not also comes with its own set of risks. The risk of totally isolating oneself, the risk of letting go of people who truly care for you in pursuit of someone better. So after realising all this i decided to reconnect with people who were always there with me accepted my attitude, and were happy with it. This is dedicated to all my dear ones back home,missing you guys.