Saturday, October 16, 2010


A successful end to another term at IRMA leaving me with just another 4 months on the campus. It was hell of a journey till now,something which moulded me and made me what I am today.While Ill definitely miss all the memories associated with it(trying not to think about it,makes me sad), I also look forward to whatever is in store for me in the future.Before leaving for MTS to chennai (strongly beleiving that from day one it was the Lord's plan for whatever happened in my life) ..I conclude by quoting from one of my favourite songs-Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,blessings all mine with ten thousands beside,great is thy faithfulness.

Saturday, September 4, 2010


Phew .. successfuly completed another hectic week , more learnings? I am tired of them , but they keep coming..but learnt some interesting lessons about self worth, the people who actually try to put you down actually admire you. The people who gave up on you, dont deserve you and you are great as you are. These are what i learnt , one has to experience to learn and life definitely teaches you all these things. So while loss and isolation hurt, they build a fortress in you which makes you strong,so strong that the blows which we might face later in life might merely feel like jabs. And I thank God for this learning mechanism and making me what I am.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Random thoughts

Finally some time to blog..after a hectic week..few moments to stop, take breath and review my life. Well first lesson I learnt this week was to stop reviewing the past,let bygones be bygones and think about what lies ahead.Someone told me think about the good things in the past and the good things to come in the future, the rest are to be forgotten as we have survived all those and stand here today. There are always moments of lonliness when we feel the need to open up, but again these are just phases which will go on throughout our lives and how we cope with them will determine our stance towards issues in life. And again I would like to thank God for all the things he created , he has a purpose for everything..nothing is meaningless.

Monday, August 9, 2010


This week I learnt some very important lessons, in this ongoing process of understanding people this was a very important phase. It was a phase of emotional catharsis involving some things which were bothering me and this was when,some people stood by me and supported me , which took me by surprise. I realised that everyone is imperfect, its just depends on how you learn to deal with them. I had loads of complains against them, but when it really mattered they were there. Ending it with an analogy, the persian carpets which are the epitome of perfection are always left with some errors which the craftsmen delibirately include in the pieces. Why? simple they believe that only GOD is perfect and everything has a flaw somewhere.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Life during OTS

I guess its time for my next blog. In the past few weeks there has been a whirlwind of activities and have led to a new set of revelations and more lessons in life. I am currently interning with Rbi,Ahmedabad a 8 hr desk job,working on a project which involves a study on technology which is quite new to me since i am a non-engineer. I ve been here for the past one month and life has been springing surprises at every step. One important thing i learnt was, that my life in the village was much better than staying in a big city where every even breathing becomes complicated. This eventful period was also filled by learnings about people,while i became closer to some long lost friends and made new friends ( people i rarely interacted in college) , i also got to see the unpleasant side of people close to me ( i really need to learn how to deal with it). But i finally realised this is how the world runs and i cannot change it but mould myself accordingly.On the brighter side , I got the opportunity to try out new activities and do things which i never got the chance to do and would not have got had i not been here. This is the best part of living independently,while there are pitfalls to it ,it also shows you the true meaning of freedom.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

And now i start looking up..

I recently realised that the only time when we look up for help is when we cant help ourselves. Its a situation where one is between four walls which are closing on and ultimately the only place you can look is up, thats when we remember that theres someone up there. I guess thats exactly what i am doing , as long as there was space around i was looking to solve issues myself . It was only when walls really started closing on me did I realise that now there was no way around and then started looking up ( which i should have done much before, I owe him an apology there). But now since i ve realised that I am feeling much better knowing that no matter how out of control things go, they are always in his control and he will lead us through. A lesson which was long due , finally learnt (But did i really learn it ?, i am still unsure..).

Saturday, April 24, 2010


I am confused about a lot of things , about myself , those around me and the situations. What appears real once disappears and becomes illusionary the next moment. I am really struggling to realise what are people and their thoughts , everyone has things hidden in them so who is real and whom to believe ? its a million dollar question , one with no answer. Guess at 2 in the night i am just ranting .. getting too philosophical..need to seriously take a break..

Monday, April 19, 2010

What keeps me going ?

In the last one year I learnt a lot of things about myself, about people and about life in general. What really struck me was most of what we see and hear are illusions and deceptions ( well I am bordering cynicism here ) but thats what i figured out . But one needs to adapt and adjust in order to survive . So what keeps me going when i am low ? initially i tended to depend on others for support but soon realised that they have their own worlds . So i went back to do what i enjoy doing the most - painting , reading and of course music. Painting transports me to a world which is mine , where i am happy . I can be what i like and not what others want me to be. i guess that this is one of the most precious lessons i learnt .I am really thankful to the Lord for endowing me with such a talent which keeps me happy and going .

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Attitude problems?

My current fb status..does others attitute bother me or mine bothers them??? was a question ive been contemplating for quite sometime. I really couldnt get any valid answers but some of them made me feel much better. Like the one which said..if people dont like your attitude they dont deserve to be around you. i liked this because it was always pointed out to me that i needed to compromise and change for the world, but how much and what is the limit was never told. But i guess this freedom of making choices about whom to be with and whom not also comes with its own set of risks. The risk of totally isolating oneself, the risk of letting go of people who truly care for you in pursuit of someone better. So after realising all this i decided to reconnect with people who were always there with me accepted my attitude, and were happy with it. This is dedicated to all my dear ones back home,missing you guys.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Stress busters

nowadays i am blogging regularily because this is proving to be an amazing stress busting exercise. At 3 in the night when most of the world sleeps (i stress most of the world, since right now i can see 84 people still there on the ip list) this is a world which works in the night and fights to stay awake in the morning much to the annoyance of the professors.So what are my thoughts,after a 4 hour management information systems assignment all i can see is data matrices flying around my head. And with the impending mid sems day after tomorrow and not a single word studied,the situation needs to be experienced to be understood. Meanwhile i realised that certain things make me happy so i am trying to concentrate on those things and i realised that they really work as effective stress busters.

Friday, March 26, 2010


Patience is truly a virtue and with the number of assignments which i have been doing in the past two weeks showed me what I lacked ...when working with people these 8 letters are of utmost importance.At the end of it the lesson i learnt was you either are born with patience or you acquire it, if you dont do either you cant survive . World is unfair and all the people in it and only patience and adjustment will push you through.Through all these i realised that these are very trivial compared to so many others facing much more pain each day but pushing ahead.I should be thankful for where i am what i have and forget the pain and enjoy life. So this is my prayer everyday.."Lord please give me patience and strength to live and experience each moment as it comes..and thank you for all the small mercies you have granted me each day. Amen.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Why do i blog?

well i feel this blog is a nice medium to vent out my feelings , which might look depressing to others but thats exactly why i prefer to write this blog to rise up from all the tough circumstances. Life is just getting tougher and friends fewer , and lonliness is something i am geting accustomed to. The pressure is mounting and when situations turn bad people turn worse and hence i am writing this blog. I guess i am overtly sensitive and as my mom always says get stronger and dont bother about what people say , but it isnt that easy . But theres always a rainbow after a storm and i am waiting for one in my life and meanwhile i continue to look above for solace and strenght from one who truly listens to me and understands me - my true friend.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Well today is telugu new year i wish all those reading this blog "happy ugadi". So what was special today ? a get together of all the gults in anand , it was kind of funny as i am not used to seeing so many of them here. It was a pleasant change from the routine life around here. But as usual after a long stressful day these things do little to lift up the sagging spirits. And now i go to bed thanking the Lord for all the little joys in my life and asking for strength to face tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

growing up blues.....

This is weird i just opened my eyes and realised that i am whizzing through my third term in Irma , its like i blink and things vanish. So my lessons in the process, new people, actually new facets of old people , new hobbies, and a brand new perspective. Its like the scales on my eyes just dropped and everything is looking quite different. But i guess life is not this rosy with evry good moment there are two terrible ones and the pain is constant but the few good ones make up for all the bad ones. I guess i am just growing up. Ists very strange that when i was young i always wanted to grow up , but now i realise how much i miss those days. Its a typical case of grass is green on the other side. I guess these are the growing up blues i am experiencing. But yes i have to go through them and there are miles to go before i sleep.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Its been ages since i last updated this blog , didnt write anything since the time we returned from field. The experience itself was an eye opener and one post wont be sufficient to describe it. but i dont intend to publish my chronicles in the field as it will truly be understood only if one experiences it. Meanwhile my life in irma continues, though its not monotonous it is extremely exhausting. There are times when i wake up in the morning to be bewildered by the fact that two terms have already passed and there was no time to catch a breath. Each day demands to be cherished with its own set of new experiences, and new facets of people unravelling every second. Phew.. all this is getting a bit too complex for me and maybe at the end of two years when i contemplate , i wouldnt be able to pinpoint one experience which changed me as i am and would have been transformed into a new person made up of a jigsaw of experiences .